STOOOORY Time

That title makes me feel like Oprah, and since Oprah's pretty much the ruler of the free world, feeling like her is pretty awesome.


Next on my list is to wake up feeling like P. Diddy.

That is his name right? It was the last time I checked, so let's go with it. 


So. Have you listened to any music lately? Like, really listened? Like, clench-your-ass-so-hard-you-could-put-a-rock-between-your-cheeks-and-make-a-diamond listened?


I have, and it was an interesting experience. I didn't have any rocks on hand though, so that sucks. By the way, Ke$ha is totally not wearing a neck-a-luss with Jesus on it in the We R Who We R video. 

I lost a third of my braincells typing the name of that song, so I hope you're happy.

Anyway. I used a Q-Tip yesterday, and nearly swabbed my brain. I have supersonic hearing as a result though, so I could actually hear the lyrics to the songs I was hearing. See that segue? That's why they pay me the big bucks. 


So, I've noticed a theme to some popular songs. They're kind of offensive/don't make any sense.

You want an example? Fine.

Bossy.


So, Ke$sha is all, "It's about damn time to live it up, I'm so sick of being so serious, It's makin' my brain delirious". Dude. Her every song is about being drunk and brushing her teeth with Jack. How does that indicate her being serious? That's sounds more "messy and drunk" to me. I think Ke$ha is lying about her reasoning for her brain being delirious, I'm just sayin. 


I think Fefe Dobson should apologize to everyone with a stutter who is now paranoid that everyone thinks they're lying because they stuttered. 


The Black Eyed Peas should be pimp slapped for sampling "The Time of Our Lives". Is nothing sacred anymore? 


Elise Estrada says, "MAC aint got enough concealer, To hide how much I’ll miss you" Oh, I think they do. And how precisely does one cover up missing you with concealer? I always thought missing someone was more of an internal thing, and concealer isn't recommended for use inside your head. Just sayin. 


I've also noticed that a lot of songs talk about a climactic moment in someone's life. Natalia Kills is all, "I'll make your love grenade explode". That needs no further explanation, I think. I'm looking at you Blake McGrath, and your little song about your... happy moment. 

Anyway. My brain cells are dwindling with all this talk. I have to go harvest more now.

Love,
Megan